Gawking, Ogling, and Drooling
by Longbourn22
Summary: The BAU men heard some commotion in Garcia's office.  They realized Garcia, JJ, and Emily were in there and having what seemed to be an ogling fest! Hotch became jealous when Emily uttered a man's name as if she wanted to...


Hello everyone! I'm supposed to be working on my multi-chapter fic. But got a little distracted by the TV and caught this funny commercial and that gave me this little idea!

And a fantastic and awesome thanks to HGRHfan35! Without whom, my stories would be horrible! Thank you! Much love!

I don't own the series Criminal Minds or its characters!

Enjoy!

…

Gawking, Ogling and Drooling

.

"Hey Garcia, did you get a chance to compile the Hudson record?" Emily walked into the technical analysis's office, head bent down as she was reading a file.

No answer.

Curious, Emily looked up, "Garcia, did you hear…Oh my gosh! What is that?" She indicated on one of Garcia's computer screens.

Garcia, her concentration on the screen, nodded, "You like it, don't you, my dark lovely."

File forgotten, Emily pulled up a spare chair and sat beside Garcia and watched.

"Oh! Wow! It's…hmmm…" Emily uttered. "I'm not sure of that…"

"I know!" Garcia agreed. "But check out the next one."

"Nice! Oh I like this one! Very nice…I like the front, looks sexy! What else?"

"Hungry for more, huh?" Garcia grinned but complied as she showed Emily another picture on the computer.

"Oh man! Now this one here!" Emily made a loud whistle.

"If you think that one is gorgeous, check this out…"

"Oh!" Emily exclaimed loudly!

Garcia giggled, "I knew you'll like that!"

"What is all the noise? I can hear it out there!" JJ came in, hands on her hips.

Emily turned to her best friend as she pointed at the screen, "JJ! Look!"

JJ's eyes widened as she looked at the screen and rushed to them, "Oh! Where did you find it? Oh my!"

Garcia looked up at her other best friend and laughed, "I have more here!"

"Well, don't hoard them! Show us!" JJ demanded.

"Okay, okay. Slow down here, mamma! I want to drool on them one at a time!"

"I got you, Pen. Let's go then. Geez, be still my heart!"

"Alright. Now, onto to the next…there! Oh my goodness! It is beyond words!"

"Oh yeah!" Emily and JJ exclaimed at the same time and bumped fists together.

"Hey…calm down. More to come." Garcia giggled again.

"Let's get to it, Pen!" JJ said excitedly.

…

Hotch, Dave and Morgan were walking into the unit when they heard a loud commotion in Garcia's office. They looked at each other confusedly.

"Is there a party going on I don't know about?" Morgan looked over at the door.

Dave shrugged, "Sounds like a bunch of cackling females…Garcia, Emily and JJ. Huh…it does sounds like some kind of girlie party."

Hotch shook his head, "Isn't it too early for a party? I mean it's only 9am."

"Aren't you two curious to know what is going on in there?" Derek asked as he began to walk towards the door.

"The three girls are in there, you know what they're going to talk about? Men, men and men. Oh, and their feminine things"

Derek chuckled, "Yeah, but still, if they are, who are they talking about, that's what I want to know."

"Well, go ahead. I certainly don't want to know. It can be scary to hear them talk about men and comparing their parts." Dave pointed.

"I agree." Hotch said as he was about to walk towards his office when a loud peal of raucous laughter came from within Garcia's office and Emily's shrill whistles.

_Holy cow! Is that Jimmy? Well, hello Jimmy!_

The men stared at the door now.

_Yes! I want one just like that! Oh my!_

More giggles within

"Do you think they're talking about male anatomies?"

Hotch frowned, "If they are, and they're doing it during office time, it might be construed as sexual harassment."

Dave stared at Hotch disbelievingly, "You're kidding right? I mean they're not using any body's name. It could be something …non human related."

It was Morgan's turn to stare at Dave, as if the older agent had a growth on top of his head. "Have you really hear them talking when they get together? I mean really?"

Dave frowned, "I'm just giving them the benefit of the doubt."

Hotch chuckled, causing the other two to turn to look at him; Hotch hardly chuckle, it was an unnatural expression.

"What?" Hotch asked them. "I'm just trying to see that doubt."

Dave rolled his eyes, "Seriously, why don't we just go in there and…"

More shrieks emanated from the room.

"_That is it! That is the one for me!" The men heard JJ's excited voice._

"What?" Derek wondered. "I…What about Will?"

"_Girlfriend, you have one already! Remember last month?" Garcia uttered aloud._

"Oh shit…" Dave's eyes were wide.

"This is getting out of hand. What if the director comes around and overheard them?" Hotch said.

"I change my mind, I'm not going in there. I could get eaten!" Dave shook his head.

Derek grinned, "What Rossi? Afraid of three little gals?"

"Derek, they may be little but I know two of them can kick my royal ass off this building in a heart beat and the other one? Her hand is as lethal as …as…finger of God!"

Hotch grinned at the exaggeration, "Come on Dave. You'll be okay. Derek will have your back."

Dave shook his head, "No, he will not. He's going to be in the front."

"Chicken." Derek muttered under his breath.

"At least I'll be a live chicken with his head still intact."

"Come on, let's get to the bottom of this." Hotch said as he walked to the door.

"_Shit! This Christian is hot! I mean freaking hot!" Emily said loudly._

"_No kidding! I'm not gonna touch that!" Garcia replied. "I'll just hand it to you!"_

"_Thanks PG. I think I will. I really need Christian unless there is another better than Christian."_

"_Okay, I have to find one for myself. Help me, will ya?" Garcia said._

"_I thought Kevin is not into it?"_

"_Kevin knows better than to forbid. He'll just have to deal with it."_

The three men's eyebrows were shot high up their foreheads by now.

"_Brave words, my smart friend." Emily laughed. "Aren't you afraid he'll withhold? And besides, didn't you get one last week?"_

"_Huh! He can't resist me." Garcia said assuredly. "And I can have a few more if I wanted to." She pouted._

"_Come on, less talk, show us more, Pen! And put those pouty lips back in your face; leave that for Kevin." JJ said._

"_Geez, I thought you'd chosen one already and that's your fill for the moment."_

"_I might change my mind, if the right one comes along." JJ countered._

Dave shook his head again, "I sure feel bad for Will now. And Kevin."

"They are horrible!" Derek uttered. "They are not satisfied with who they're with already?"

"JJ and Garcia but Emily is still single." Hotch pointed.

Dave and Derek looked at Hotch, "How did you know that?"

Hotch shrugged his shoulders. "Just a guess."

"Yeah…very good guess." Derek said skeptically.

Dave nodded in agreement, "Something you know that you're not telling us?"

Hotch looked from Derek to Dave and shook his head, "No. There is nothing to tell. I'm just making an assumption based on the way she has been acting."

Dave and Derek were very intrigued, "Oh, and how did you make that assumption?"

Hotch shrugged his shoulders again, "She has been checking out every guy that walks into the unit. Us included."

Derek grinned, "Did she now?" He scratched his bald head and continued, "So basing on that keen observation, you figured she is …horny?"

Hotch's eyes widened at the use of the word out in the open floor of the unit. He quickly glanced around and almost sighed aloud when he saw that it was somewhat empty. The closest agent was about 50 feet from them.

Dave laughed, "I have to agree with Hotch. I did notice she had been watching around her a lot lately. And she was chewing her bottom lips."

Derek thought for a moment and nodded, "Yeah, she does that when she is distracted."

"_No! Not that one! Too skinny looking!" JJ exclaimed._

"_Yeah, don't like that look either. What's next PG?" Emily asked._

"_Hey, don't rush me! I'm trying to decide if I …"_

"_No you don't! Not for you." JJ insisted, cutting her friend off mid-sentence._

"_Alright! There, how about this! Oh my. I…wow!" _

"_Oh! Look at Bryan…you're right Pen, wow!" Emily said excitedly._

"_Damn! I might go with Bryan! I like this very, very much." JJ said slowly. "Oh, forgive my drool but I can't help it."_

"_Girlfriend's got taste! Your drool is excused. Drool away!" Garcia gushed._

"_Thank you, friend. Now, let's find a really good one for Em."_

"_Yeah…I need to drool on something too!" Emily said._

"_Em, don't get snarky. You do need one…or two." Garcia insisted._

"_Okay less talk, let's get Emily something she can ogle." JJ laughed._

"_I just want one. You guys have one each already and I'm feeling left out."_

"_Emily, quit your whining or I'm going to let the cat out of that bag about a certain tall dark and handsome agent!" Garcia warned._

"_Oh no you don't! Penelope, if you uttered a word, I'll …I'll…"_

"_Ladies, stop that bickering…let's look at flavor number 14."_

"_Ooohh! It's Marc!" Garcia and Emily commented at the same time along with a low whistle._

"_Now, that is what I call sexy, hot and steamy." Emily whistled again._

"_Yes. I bet if you touch it, it will sizzle." Garcia said._

"Seriously, we need to stop them from embarrassing themselves now." Hotch said. His expression was dark.

"If I didn't know better, Hotch, I think you're jealous about something." Dave said.

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous, Dave?"

"I don't know. Or maybe someone have a teeny crush on our lovely brunette agent? And that he does not want any competition? Especially from an online advertisement?"

Hotch shook his head, "I don't know what you're talking about, Dave. And I don't have a crush on Emily."

Derek smiled, "Since when did you start calling her Emily?"

Dave chuckled.

"I can call her whatever I want to…" Hotch closed his eyes in embarrassment as he realized how that sounded. "That is not what I mean. I…"

The two men began to laugh loudly.

"Shut up, you two." Hotch groused as he frowned at them.

Then sudden loud shrilly shrieks erupted from within, the two stopped laughing and nodded to Hotch who began typing the code to the cipher lock, unlocking the door as quick as they could.

"_That is it Emily, it's going to be Sal! That is the one for you! Come on, you know you want it! You haven't stopped staring at it!" Garcia laughed._

"_Well Sal! You're one fine looking piece of …"_

As the door opened, the three ladies stopped and turned around to face the men, Garcia quickly turned off the screen.

"What is going on in here?" Hotch demanded hotly as he stared at Emily. He wanted to ask her who this Sal was.

"N…N…Nothing. We, uh, just …talking." Garcia said nervously.

Dave shook his head in disbelieve, "When the three of you are together, there is no such thing as nothing is happening. Come on, spill it out. JJ?"

JJ blushed as she shook her head, "Really Dave. It was nothing. We were talking about … shoes."

"Shoes?" All three men uttered, their expressions were skeptical.

"Yes, shoes." Emily nodded, she was staring at Hotch.

"Oh no, I don't believe it." Derek said. "You guys don't talk and laugh about just shoes. It's more than that, I mean who is this Christian? Jimmy and … and… whatever their names are."

"It's true! We were looking at shoes. You don't believe us?" Garcia was glaring at Derek.

He shook his head. "Show me."

Garcia huffed in anger as she turned the screen back on and there it was; a pair of red hot leather 4-inch high stilettos displayed on the screen. "There. Shoes."

The men stared at the screen and began to laugh.

The ladies stared at them in confusion.

"I think they're officially certifiable." Garcia whispered loudly.

Emily and JJ nodded.

As the laugher wound down, Hotch said, "We're sorry. We thought you were being…um, improper."

"Improper?" The three ladies exclaimed.

"Yeah, we thought you all were checking out on men." Morgan admitted.

"Huh! Shows how much you know us, Derek." Garcia huffed. "We would never do anything that will jeopardize our positions in the bureau."

"What about this Christian? Jimmy? Who are they?" Dave demanded.

This time it was the ladies' turn to laugh while the men looked even more confused.

Garcia shook her head, "As in Christian Louboutin, Jimmy Choo, Bryan Atwood and Salvatore Ferragamo."

"Er, who are they?" Hotch asked.

"Very expensive but so drool-able shoe brand names." Garcia stared at Hotch as JJ and Emily chuckled. "Obviously you guys don't know your shoes."

"Oh!" The three men answered.

"Okay. We're sorry about the confusion. Er, meeting in ten." Hotch said as he was about to open the door.

"So, what is this secret Garcia knows about Emily? And who is this agent she has a crush on?" Dave blurted. Hotch stopped his movement.

"Garcia!" Emily exclaimed loudly, her face began to blush all over as she kept her gaze at Hotch.

"What? I didn't say anything! You know I wouldn't betray your trust!" Garcia cried.

"Come on Baby girl," Derek was standing very close to her and she couldn't concentrate on anything else but his biceps and his manly scent. "You can tell your dark and loving man."

"Oh." Garcia uttered but not realized what he asked. "You are so adorable when you beg like this."

"Sweet baby…tell me…" Derek urged.

"Garcia! No!" Emily called out but no avail as Garcia was mesmerized by his voice.

"Hotch." She said slowly.

"What?" Dave, Derek, Hotch, JJ exclaimed at the same time.

Emily, her face completely flushed, buried her face in her heads and muttered, "Please, someone…begin Armageddon. Hurricane, earthquake, tornado. I'll even take the Plague."

The whole team stared at Emily as Garcia realized her gaffe, "Oh no! Emily! I'm so sorry! I…I…oh damn! I'm…I'm going to go drown myself in the water cooler." She quickly exited her office.

Dave saw Hotch's expression which was more of wonder than anger and immediately took action.

"Okay…JJ, Derek…how about we go have some morning coffee down at Starbucks." Not giving them a chance to reply, he pulled them out the door.

Now, the only ones remaining were Hotch and Emily who still had her face in her hands.

"Emily?" Hotch came to stand in front of her.

"Go away, Hotch. Please let me die."

Hotch chuckled, "I am not going to allow that. And…will you please look at me?"

Emily shook her head.

Hotch sighed and reached out to pull her hands down and tilted her head up so she could see him. "Hey," he said softly. "Is it true?"

Taking a deep breath, she nodded her head, not trusting her voice.

Hotch smiled. His heart began to race to know that his object of attraction returned his feelings.

"I have a confession to make." He said. "I have a crush on a very beautiful brunette who happened to be in the profession as I."

Emily's eyes widened as she realized the implication. "You mean…me?"

"Yes you." He was smiling happily.

"Oh!"

"That's all you're going to say? Oh!"

Emily smiled shyly as she nodded her head.

"You know, I was feeling very foolish because I was jealous when we overheard you ladies exclaiming about something akin to men gawking."

"I'm sorry, Hotch. You're the only one that I think of all the time. No one could even come up against you!"

"Not even shoes?"

Emily broke out in laughter, "Not even shoes!"

"I'm glad. I hate to think I'll have to get into a fight for you." He said.

"You will?"

"Yes. Although I prefer doing the opposite."

"The opposite?"

He nodded his head as he leaned in, "Like this…" and kissed her gently.

_"What? Why can't I go back to my office?"_ Garcia was outside her office.

_"Because you can't. Just give it a half hour or so."_ Derek replied.

_"Wait, are they still in there? I wonder what they are doing in there."_

Dave harrumphed, "_Well, they sure are NOT gawking at shoes!"_

…The End…

.

I hope you enjoyed this story!

Please, if you have the time, leave a review! I would love to hear what you think!

Thank you!

Lizzie


End file.
